{"id":4124,"date":"2019-03-10T21:34:41","date_gmt":"2019-03-10T20:34:41","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/redaktori.com\/?p=4124"},"modified":"2019-03-10T21:34:41","modified_gmt":"2019-03-10T20:34:41","slug":"imagjinoni-sikur-ne-bote-te-mos-kishte-xhelozi","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/redaktori.com\/?p=4124","title":{"rendered":"Imagjinoni sikur n\u00eb bot\u00eb t\u00eb mos kishte xhelozi"},"content":{"rendered":"

E kush nuk ka qen\u00eb xheloz n\u00eb nj\u00eb moment t\u00eb caktuar? Sipas pik\u00ebpamjes standarde, xhelozia \u00ebsht\u00eb emocioni i t\u00eb qenurit i shqet\u00ebsuar, nga nj\u00eb k\u00ebrc\u00ebnim i perceptuar nga nj\u00eb pal\u00eb e tret\u00eb, n\u00eb v\u00ebmendjen e dikujt q\u00eb na intereson, dhe me t\u00eb cilin ndihemi mir\u00eb.<\/p>\n

P\u00ebrfshirja e nj\u00eb rivali, e dallon xhelozin\u00eb nga frika e humbjes. Xhelozia mund t\u00eb jet\u00eb e tmerrshme. Ajo mund t\u00eb duket e pashmangshme, pasi ne e krahasojm\u00eb veten zakonisht me t\u00eb tjer\u00ebt, dhe emocionet e padisiplinuara jan\u00eb t\u00eb v\u00ebshtira p\u00ebr t\u2019u kontrolluar.<\/p>\n

P\u00ebr m\u00eb tep\u00ebr, xhelozia mund t\u00eb duket e vlefshme, kur shihet nga pik\u00ebpamja e pasionit. \u00c7\u2019t\u00eb keqe ka n\u00ebse d\u00ebshiron t\u00eb ruash ndjenjat e tyre t\u00eb \u00e7muara? A nuk jemi dyshues ndaj njer\u00ebzve q\u00eb pretendojn\u00eb se nuk jan\u00eb xheloz\u00eb? Disa filozof\u00eb, i b\u00ebjn\u00eb jehon\u00eb k\u00ebtyre ndjenjave, n\u00eb mbrojtjen q\u00eb i b\u00ebjn\u00eb xhelozis\u00eb, duke sugjeruar se ajo \u00ebsht\u00eb pjes\u00eb integrale e marr\u00ebdh\u00ebnieve t\u00eb forta, \u00ebsht\u00eb si nj\u00eb katalizator erotik, shpreh nj\u00eb kujdesi ndaj partnerit, parandalon indiferenc\u00ebn dhe nxit reflektimin.<\/p>\n

Edhe pse episodet e xhelozis\u00eb mund t\u00eb ken\u00eb k\u00ebto p\u00ebrfitime, xhelozia nuk duhet t\u00eb kultivohet si nj\u00eb tipar i karakterit. Shum\u00eb shp\u00ebrthime t\u00eb xhelozis\u00eb jan\u00eb t\u00eb paq\u00ebndrueshme, dhe mund t\u00eb ushqejn\u00eb ndjenj\u00ebn e fajit dhe zem\u00ebrimin, paralizojn\u00eb reflektimin dhe na b\u00ebjn\u00eb t\u00eb ndjehemi patetik\u00eb. Q\u00eb xhelozia t\u00eb jet\u00eb e dobishme, shum\u00eb\u00e7ka duhet t\u00eb shkoj\u00eb mir\u00eb. Por ajo v\u00ebshtir\u00eb se \u00ebsht\u00eb nj\u00eb afrodiziak universal.<\/p>\n

M\u00eb shqet\u00ebsues \u00ebsht\u00eb fakti, se ka prova q\u00eb lidhin xhelozin\u00eb me agresionin dhe manipulimin, dhe n\u00eb k\u00ebto kushte \u00e7do p\u00ebrfitim instrumental i xhelozis\u00eb, duhet t\u00eb peshohet p\u00ebrkundrejt rrezikut t\u00eb k\u00ebtyre sjelljeve t\u00eb d\u00ebmshme. S\u00eb fundi, xhelozia \u00ebsht\u00eb e dobishme si nj\u00eb sinjal i kujdesit, vet\u00ebm sepse p\u00ebrpiqemi t\u00eb kuptojm\u00eb dhe komunikojm\u00eb emocionet tona brenda marr\u00ebdh\u00ebnieve intime. Ndon\u00ebse xhelozia ka rrall\u00eb ndonj\u00eb vler\u00eb instrumentale, disa mendojn\u00eb se ajo \u00ebsht\u00eb n\u00eb thelb e vlefshme si nj\u00eb virtyt. P\u00ebr shembull, Kristjan Kristjanson, nj\u00eb filozof i moralit n\u00eb Universitetin e Birminghemit n\u00eb Mbret\u00ebrin\u00eb e Bashkuar, mendon se xhelozia shpesh \u00ebsht\u00eb e p\u00ebrshtatshme, sepse reflekton at\u00eb q\u00eb meritojm\u00eb n\u00eb marr\u00ebdh\u00ebniet tona.<\/p>\n

N\u00eb librin e tij \u201cEmocionet virtuale\u201d (2018), Kristjanson shkruan se d\u00ebshtimi p\u00ebr t\u2019u ndier xheloz\u00eb kur dashuria e partnerit tuaj drejtohet diku tjet\u00ebr mund t\u00eb jen\u00eb:shenja t\u00eb nj\u00eb mungese t\u00eb vet\u00ebshprehjes dhe respektit ndaj vetes, e nj\u00eb shpirti tejet tolerant, p\u00ebr t\u00eb mos p\u00ebrmendur munges\u00ebn e ndjeshm\u00ebris\u00eb ndaj padrejt\u00ebsis\u00eb.<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a><\/p>\n

Por edhe n\u00ebse xhelozia duhet t\u00eb kuptohet n\u00eb aspektin e romantik\u00ebs s\u00eb \u00ebmb\u00ebl, mbetet nj\u00eb \u00e7\u00ebshtja e hapur n\u00ebse t\u00eb ndjerit xheloz, \u00ebsht\u00eb di\u00e7ka e virtytshme. Filozof\u00ebt amerikan\u00eb Xhastin D\u2019Arms dhe Deniel Xhejkobson, kan\u00eb argumentuar se shpesh ne kemi arsye morale ose t\u00eb kujdesshme brenda konteksteve t\u00eb ndryshme, q\u00eb t\u00eb mos ndiejm\u00eb gj\u00ebra q\u00eb do t\u00eb ishte e p\u00ebrshtatshme t\u2019i ndienim.<\/p>\n

P\u00ebr shembull, nj\u00eb ushtar duket i guximsh\u00ebm pik\u00ebrisht, pasi nuk ka frik\u00eb n\u00eb nj\u00eb situat\u00eb t\u00eb v\u00ebshtir\u00eb, ku frika do t\u00eb ishte nj\u00eb ndjesi e p\u00ebrshtatshme. Lidhja e lirshme e ushtarit midis ndjenjave t\u00eb tij, dhe asaj q\u00eb \u00ebsht\u00eb e p\u00ebrshtatshme, e ndihmon at\u00eb t\u00eb dominoj\u00eb n\u00eb betej\u00eb.<\/p>\n

Ngjash\u00ebm, nj\u00eb lidhje e lirshme midis disa ndjenjave tona dhe kushteve t\u00eb p\u00ebrshtatshm\u00ebris\u00eb s\u00eb tyre, mund t\u00eb na ndihmoj\u00eb t\u00eb lul\u00ebzojm\u00eb n\u00eb dashuri. Intimiteti yn\u00eb mbytet fokusohet pas \u00ebmb\u00eblsis\u00eb romantike dhe t\u00eb drejt\u00ebs p\u00ebr t\u2019u dashur; dhe ashtu si ne mund t\u00eb p\u00ebrpiqemi t\u00eb mos ndihemi t\u00eb zem\u00ebruar me gabimet e vogla t\u00eb t\u00eb dashurve tan\u00eb, ose t\u00eb keqardhur ndaj zhg\u00ebnjimit t\u00eb tyre, n\u00eb t\u00eb nj\u00ebjt\u00ebn m\u00ebnyr\u00eb mund t\u00eb p\u00ebrpiqemi t\u00eb shmangim ndjenj\u00ebn e xhelozis\u00eb, edhe n\u00ebse xhelozia do t\u00eb ishte e p\u00ebrshtatshme.<\/p>\n

S\u00eb fundmi, tiparet e karakterit duhet t\u00eb konsiderohen n\u00eb m\u00ebnyr\u00eb gjith\u00ebp\u00ebrfshir\u00ebse. Edhe n\u00ebse xhelozia \u00ebsht\u00eb nj\u00eb virtyt, ne duhet t\u00eb shqyrtojm\u00eb se si ajo lidhet me tipare t\u00eb tjera t\u00eb virtytshme, dhe t\u00eb analizojm\u00eb \u00e7\u00ebshtjen praktike, n\u00ebse duhet t\u2019i japim p\u00ebrpar\u00ebsi kultivimit aktiv t\u00eb xhelozis\u00eb mbi k\u00ebto tipare.<\/p>\n

Pava\u00ebsisht pik\u00ebpamjeve tona p\u00ebr monogamin\u00eb, ne duhet t\u00eb konsiderojm\u00eb seriozisht iden\u00eb se xhelozia mund t\u00eb zbutet, dhe t\u00eb z\u00ebvend\u00ebsohet nga ndjenjat pozitive. T\u00eb gjith\u00eb mund t\u00eb p\u00ebrfitojm\u00eb nga aft\u00ebsia p\u00ebr t\u2019u ndier mir\u00eb nga g\u00ebzimi dhe k\u00ebnaq\u00ebsia e njer\u00ebzve q\u00eb na interesojn\u00eb, ve\u00e7an\u00ebrisht n\u00eb situata ku rrezikojm\u00eb t\u00eb jemi t\u00eb verb\u00ebr nga konkurrenca, dob\u00ebsia dhe ankthi.<\/p>\n

P\u00ebr \u00e7far\u00eb b\u00ebhet fjal\u00eb sakt\u00ebsisht? A mund t\u00eb jet\u00eb nj\u00eb form\u00eb krenarie, g\u00ebzimi p\u00ebrbrenda apo g\u00ebzimi mazokistik:ndjenjat p\u00ebr t\u00eb cilat ne jemi t\u00eb kujdessh\u00ebm? \u00c7\u2019\u00ebsht\u00eb m\u00eb e r\u00ebnd\u00ebsishmja, si mund t\u00eb b\u00ebhemi t\u00eb vet\u00ebp\u00ebrmbajtur? P\u00ebrmbysja e ndenjave, \u00ebsht\u00eb nj\u00eb tipar i dalluesh\u00ebm brenda mund\u00ebsive t\u00eb t\u00eb gjith\u00ebve.<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a><\/p>\n

Megjith\u00ebse \u00ebsht\u00eb ndoshta m\u00eb e spikatur n\u00eb kontekstet jo-monogame, ku xhelozia mund t\u00eb jet\u00eb akute, p\u00ebrmbysja mund t\u00eb lul\u00ebzoj\u00eb dhe t\u00eb pasuroj\u00eb nj\u00eb jet\u00eb kudo q\u00eb ka z\u00ebn\u00eb rr\u00ebnj\u00eb xhelozia.<\/p>\n

N\u00eb thelb, empatia \u00ebsht\u00eb e ndjeshme ndaj asaj se si veprojn\u00eb njer\u00ebzit e tjer\u00eb.<\/p>\n

S\u00eb pari, ne ndihemi pozitiv\u00eb n\u00eb vetevete, dhe nuk besojm\u00eb se kjo varet nga sjellja e partnerit. S\u00eb dyti, ndjenjat tona pozitive, pasqyrojn\u00eb struktur\u00ebn ton\u00eb pozitive t\u00eb situat\u00ebs. P\u00ebrmbajtja nuk \u00ebsht\u00eb si ndjenjat e d\u00ebfrimit t\u00eb pakontrolluar apo t\u00eb k\u00ebnaq\u00ebsis\u00eb mazokistike, ku duket sikur ndihemi mir\u00eb ndaj gj\u00ebrave, q\u00eb ndjenjat tona n\u00eb t\u00eb nj\u00ebjt\u00ebn koh\u00eb i interpretojn\u00eb si t\u00eb k\u00ebqija.<\/p>\n

S\u00eb treti, ne ndjehemi t\u00eb g\u00ebzuar nga g\u00ebzimi i njeriut t\u00eb zemr\u00ebs, p\u00ebr nj\u00eb situat\u00eb q\u00eb njer\u00ebzit e p\u00ebrfshir\u00eb mendojn\u00eb se \u00ebsht\u00eb e mir\u00eb. K\u00ebshtu, g\u00ebzimi nga g\u00ebzimi i tjerit \u00ebsht\u00eb ndryshe nga krenaria. S\u00eb kat\u00ebrti, mund t\u00eb b\u00ebhemi t\u00eb paarsyesh\u00ebm, pa dashur at\u00eb q\u00eb kan\u00eb njer\u00ebzit e tjer\u00eb.<\/p>\n

Ne e kultivojm\u00eb empatin\u00eb si nj\u00eb tipar t\u00eb karakterit, duke ulur prirjen ton\u00eb p\u00ebr t\u00eb qen\u00eb xheloz\u00eb, dhe duke m\u00ebsuar t\u00eb vler\u00ebsojm\u00eb g\u00ebzimin tek t\u00eb tjer\u00ebt. P\u00ebr t\u00eb zbutur xhelozin\u00eb, ne duhet t\u00eb dim\u00eb pse lind ajo. Nga ana tjet\u00ebr, ne e kuptojm\u00eb sepse lind, duke shqyrtuar shqet\u00ebsimet e saj themelore.<\/p>\n

K\u00ebto shqet\u00ebsime jan\u00eb si fytyrat e Janusit:p\u00ebr shkak se g\u00ebzojm\u00eb simpati, xhelozia \u00ebsht\u00eb e ndjeshme ndaj njer\u00ebzve t\u00eb tjer\u00eb; p\u00ebr shkak se kujdesemi p\u00ebr veten, xhelozia merr jet\u00eb nga dashuria p\u00ebr veten. Sipas meje, Fransua de La Roshfuko kishte t\u00eb drejt\u00eb kur deklaroi n\u00eb vitin 1671 se \u201cn\u00eb xhelozi ka m\u00eb shum\u00eb dashuri t\u00eb vetes, sesa dashuri ndaj tjetrit\u201d.<\/p>\n

Vet\u00eb dashuria \u00ebsht\u00eb nj\u00eb p\u00ebrgjigje ndaj dob\u00ebsis\u00eb, dhe e forcon edhe m\u00eb shum\u00eb xhelozin\u00eb. Ne jemi t\u00eb brisht\u00eb, pasi njer\u00ebzit e tjer\u00eb form\u00ebsojn\u00eb angazhimin ton\u00eb me bot\u00ebn. Q\u00eb kur lindim, ne i bashkangjitemi njer\u00ebzve si nj\u00eb burim sigurie. Bashkangjitja sjell k\u00ebnaq\u00ebsi, por ne mbetemi shum\u00eb t\u00eb varur.<\/p>\n

Zhvillimi yn\u00eb, \u00ebsht\u00eb i nd\u00ebrthurur me veprimet e t\u00eb tjer\u00ebve. Var\u00ebsia e b\u00ebn jet\u00ebn t\u00eb rrezikshme. Zot\u00ebrueshm\u00ebria \u00ebsht\u00eb rrall\u00eb produkt i arsyetimit:ne thjesht duam t\u00eb ndjehemi t\u00eb sigurt. Njer\u00ebzit q\u00eb jan\u00eb posesiv\u00eb, d\u00ebshirojn\u00eb v\u00ebmendjen e t\u00eb tjer\u00ebve. Ata mendojn\u00eb se t\u00eb tjer\u00ebt, jan\u00eb t\u00eb detyruar t\u2019u kushtojn\u00eb v\u00ebmendje t\u00eb till\u00eb.<\/p>\n

N\u00eb kund\u00ebrshtim me disa teori, si ndjeshm\u00ebria ashte edhe e drejta krijojn\u00eb xhelozin\u00eb. Paniku i xhelozit, buron nga ndjeshm\u00ebria dhe frika nga humbja e mundshme; indinjata e xhelozit rrjedh nga besimi, zakonisht i gabuar, q\u00eb ne kemi t\u00eb drejt\u00eb p\u00ebr t\u00eb qen\u00eb t\u00eb dashur nga dikush tjet\u00ebr. P\u00ebr t\u00eb menaxhuar xhelozin\u00eb dhe p\u00ebr t\u00eb kultivuar emptin\u00eb, ne duhet t\u00eb adresojm\u00eb cenueshm\u00ebrin\u00eb, posesivitetin dhe t\u00eb drejt\u00ebn. Reflektimi nuk mund t\u00eb zbus\u00eb plot\u00ebsisht xhelozin\u00eb, sepse dob\u00ebsia jon\u00eb vjen nga bashk\u00ebveprimet e ngushta me njer\u00ebzit e tjer\u00eb, por ne mund t\u00eb zbehim shfaqjet m\u00eb t\u00eb k\u00ebqija t\u00eb xhelozis\u00eb, p\u00ebrmes menaxhimit indirekt t\u00eb shfaqjeve emocionale.<\/p>\n

Ne mund t\u00eb p\u00ebrpiqemi gjithashtu t\u00eb komunikojm\u00eb hapur, dhe t\u00eb diskutojm\u00eb mbi disa nga ndjenjat tona m\u00eb t\u00eb sh\u00ebmtuara, sepse xhelozia, ashtu si frika, lul\u00ebzon n\u00eb heshtje. Dhe ne mund t\u00eb punojm\u00eb p\u00ebr t\u00eb identifikuar dhe kritikuar modelet e p\u00ebrs\u00ebritura t\u00eb mendimit \u2018Po sikur t\u00eb mos kthehet m\u00eb kurr\u00eb?\u201d, \u201cPo sikur ai t\u00eb jet\u00eb m\u00eb i mir\u00eb se un\u00eb?\u201d<\/p>\n

Marr\u00eb me shkurtime nga Aeon \u2013 Bota.al<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

E kush nuk ka qen\u00eb xheloz n\u00eb nj\u00eb moment t\u00eb caktuar? Sipas pik\u00ebpamjes standarde, xhelozia \u00ebsht\u00eb emocioni i t\u00eb qenurit i shqet\u00ebsuar, nga nj\u00eb k\u00ebrc\u00ebnim i perceptuar nga nj\u00eb pal\u00eb e tret\u00eb, n\u00eb v\u00ebmendjen e dikujt q\u00eb na intereson, dhe me t\u00eb cilin ndihemi mir\u00eb. P\u00ebrfshirja e nj\u00eb rivali, e dallon xhelozin\u00eb nga frika e […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":3561,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"om_disable_all_campaigns":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[18],"tags":[],"yoast_head":"\nImagjinoni sikur n\u00eb bot\u00eb t\u00eb mos kishte xhelozi - Informohu qart\u00ebsisht!<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/redaktori.com\/?p=4124\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"sq_AL\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Imagjinoni sikur n\u00eb bot\u00eb t\u00eb mos kishte xhelozi - Informohu qart\u00ebsisht!\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"E kush nuk ka qen\u00eb xheloz n\u00eb nj\u00eb moment t\u00eb caktuar? Sipas pik\u00ebpamjes standarde, xhelozia \u00ebsht\u00eb emocioni i t\u00eb qenurit i shqet\u00ebsuar, nga nj\u00eb k\u00ebrc\u00ebnim i perceptuar nga nj\u00eb pal\u00eb e tret\u00eb, n\u00eb v\u00ebmendjen e dikujt q\u00eb na intereson, dhe me t\u00eb cilin ndihemi mir\u00eb. 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