N\u00eb at\u00eb far\u00eb fshati ishte nj\u00eb sht\u00ebpi… Sht\u00ebpia ku isha lindur dhe ku po e kaloja f\u00ebmij\u00ebrin\u00eb, bota e t\u00ebr\u00eb q\u00eb po e njihja n\u00eb vitet e para t\u00eb jet\u00ebs sime. Ajo ishte goxha sht\u00ebpi, me nj\u00eb bodrum posht\u00eb dhe me tri dhoma lart (n\u00eb midis ishte dhoma e zjarrit, kurse n\u00eb t\u00eb dy krah\u00ebt e saj ishin dhoma jon\u00eb e fjetjes dhe dhoma e xhaxhait). Para der\u00ebs s\u00eb sht\u00ebpis\u00eb shtrihej nj\u00eb cop\u00eb oborr, i ngusht\u00eb dhe i pjerr\u00ebt, q\u00eb merrte fund me dyert e m\u00ebdha me deri\u00e7k\u00ebn p\u00ebrngjitur me to. Nj\u00eb her\u00eb, derisa dyert ishin t\u00eb hapura dhe zbraz\u00ebtin\u00eb e mbushte hija e dendur e arrave t\u00eb xha Fejz\u00ebs, nuk e di pse, oborri yn\u00eb m\u00eb qe dukur si nj\u00eb gjuh\u00eb e nxjerr\u00eb jasht\u00eb nga vapa e nj\u00eb qeni gjigant, kurse dyert – si goja e tij. Ndoshta pse ua kisha frik\u00ebn qenve, ndodhte q\u00eb ndonj\u00ebher\u00eb t\u00eb m\u00eb b\u00ebhej se po mblidhej n\u00ebn k\u00ebmb\u00ebt e mia ajo gjuha e st\u00ebrmadhe dhe k\u00ebshtu po m\u00eb fuste n\u00eb goj\u00ebn e vet ai far\u00eb qeni gjigant i p\u00ebrfytyruar. Skajit t\u00eb oborrit rridhte vija e holl\u00eb e ujit, sikur t\u00eb donte ta njomte p\u00ebrher\u00eb gjuh\u00ebn e atij qeni dhe k\u00ebshtu ta zbuste eg\u00ebrsin\u00eb e tij. N\u00eb nj\u00ebr\u00ebn an\u00eb shtriheshin vatha, pojata, \u00e7ilari dhe oda, kurse n\u00eb an\u00ebn tjet\u00ebr ishin kopshti, l\u00ebmi, hambari dhe plemja. N\u00ebn t\u00eb gjitha k\u00ebto zbriste fort pjerrtas Ara e Bregut, ku kishte rrezik t’i thyeje jo vet\u00ebm k\u00ebmb\u00ebt, por edhe qaf\u00ebn. Po t’i shikoje nga Shpati (ku dilja shpesh me gjy- shen p\u00ebr t’i kullotur qengjat), krejt k\u00ebto krijonin nj\u00eb pa- mje laramane: sht\u00ebpia ishte e mbuluar me qeramidhe, pojata me dushk, hambari e \u00e7ilari me kasht\u00eb, kurse oda, e nd\u00ebrtuar von\u00eb, – me tjegulla, t\u00eb kuqe gjak. Aty i shtrinin kurorat e tyre dy arrat e m\u00ebdha, ngriheshin p\u00ebrpjet\u00eb disa dardha, sesi i ngat\u00ebrronin deg\u00ebt disa moll\u00eb e disa kumbulla, p\u00ebrpiqej t\u00eb grabiste sa m\u00eb shum\u00eb tok\u00eb nj\u00eb ftua me shum\u00eb trungje nga t\u00eb nj\u00ebjtat rr\u00ebnj\u00eb, sikur t\u00eb mos donte t\u00eb rronte i vetmuar n\u00eb at\u00eb vend, ku \u00e7do pem\u00eb e kishte s\u00eb paku nj\u00eb shoqe t\u00eb llojit t\u00eb vet. Nga Shpati shihej gjysma e sht\u00ebpive t\u00eb fshatit. P\u00ebrpiqesha t’i krahasoja dhe m\u00eb dilte se sht\u00ebpia jon\u00eb ishte nd\u00ebr m\u00eb t\u00eb bukurat. IN MEMORIAM 28 – Gjyshe, kush e ka sht\u00ebpin\u00eb m\u00eb t\u00eb bukur? – pyetja. Ajo i num\u00ebronte kat\u00ebr-pes\u00eb sht\u00ebpi dhe nd\u00ebr to ishte edhe sht\u00ebpia jon\u00eb. -Ne, p\u00ebllumbi i gjyshes, – m\u00eb shpjegonte ajo, – i kemi pasur t\u00eb gjitha t\u00eb mirat: edhe sht\u00ebpin\u00eb e mir\u00eb, edhe n\u00eb vend t\u00eb mir\u00eb, edhe tok\u00ebn m\u00eb pjellore se t\u00eb askujt… vet\u00ebm meshkujt nuk i kemi pasur t\u00eb hajrit. Prandaj, na ka mbetur vet\u00ebm kjo sht\u00ebpi si d\u00ebshmi e asaj se kush kemi qen\u00eb dikur. Po edhe kjo e shkreta i ka hequr nj\u00eb mij\u00eb t\u00eb zeza. Sa e mbaj mend un\u00eb – kush mund ta dij\u00eb se \u00e7’ka p\u00ebsuar m\u00eb p\u00ebrpara? – deri tash e kan\u00eb djegur tri her\u00eb… – Kush e ka djegur, gjyshe?! – S\u00eb pari e kan\u00eb djegur zaptijet e turkut, pastaj xhandar\u00ebt e Serbis\u00eb dhe, s\u00eb fundi, italian\u00ebt… Doja t\u00eb pyetja se \u00e7’ishin ata far\u00eb zaptijesh, xhandar\u00ebsh e italian\u00ebsh, po m\u00eb vinte keq ta preja n\u00eb gjysm\u00eb rr\u00ebfimin e gjyshes. -Dhe secil\u00ebn her\u00eb, – vazhdonte gjyshja, – e kemi ngrehur m\u00eb t\u00eb fort\u00eb e m\u00eb t\u00eb bukur. S\u00eb pari ka qen\u00eb me kasht\u00eb t\u00eb zakonshme, s\u00eb dyti me kasht\u00eb thekre t\u00ebr\u00eb renda-renda, s\u00eb treti me shinra… t\u00eb gjitha t\u00eb gdhendura me durim p\u00ebr inat t\u00eb armiqve… dhe tash, si e sheh, e mbuluam me qaramidhe… q\u00eb ta ken\u00eb m\u00eb v\u00ebshtir\u00eb kur ta djegin s\u00ebrish… Ndon\u00ebse nuk m\u00eb kishte r\u00ebn\u00eb t\u00eb shihja ndonj\u00eb sht\u00ebpi duke u djegur, p\u00ebrfytyrimet e mia ishin m\u00eb se t\u00eb llahtarshme. – E pse e kan\u00eb djegur k\u00ebshtu vazhdimisht sht\u00ebpin\u00eb ton\u00eb? -Pse, a? Sepse t\u00eb zot\u00ebt e saj kan\u00eb qen\u00eb gjithmon\u00eb dofar\u00eb kryengrit\u00ebsish, ka\u00e7ak\u00ebsh, gjak\u00ebsor\u00ebsh, vullnetar\u00ebsh… e ku ta di un\u00eb \u00e7ka jo, t\u00eb cil\u00ebt nuk i shtroheshin dot as pushtetit t\u00eb fshatit, as pushtetit t\u00eb shtetit. Secili prej tyre ishte m\u00eb kok\u00ebfort\u00eb e m\u00eb i pap\u00ebrkulur se tjetri… T\u00eb gjith\u00eb nj\u00ebsoj: e mira e t\u00ebr\u00eb bot\u00ebs, e keqja e kok\u00ebs dhe e sht\u00ebpis\u00eb s\u00eb vet… M\u00eb tej rr\u00ebfimet e gjyshes merrnin ngjyra t\u00eb tjera emocionale dhe nuk e dije m\u00eb n\u00eb i qortonte p\u00ebr s\u00eb vdekuri e p\u00ebr s\u00eb gjalli ata burra kryene\u00e7\u00eb (babai e xhaxhai domosdo ishin dy prej tyre), apo mburrej me trim\u00ebrit\u00eb e tyre. Dikur ajo kridhej me t\u00ebr\u00eb shpirtin n\u00eb bot\u00ebn e kujtimeve t\u00eb saj t\u00eb pazakonshme dhe tashm\u00eb fliste hapur me mburrje e me krenari p\u00ebr vjehrrin, p\u00ebr burrin dhe p\u00ebr djemt\u00eb e saj, kurse mua m\u00eb kapte nj\u00ebfar\u00eb shqet\u00ebsimi. N\u00eb fytyr\u00ebn e saj t\u00eb ndezur nga krenaria m\u00eb dukej se e shihja flak\u00ebn e sht\u00ebpis\u00eb dhe zija t\u00eb dridhesha nga frika se dikush mund t\u00eb na e digjte s\u00ebrish sht\u00ebpin\u00eb dhe t\u00eb na linte n\u00eb tit\u00ebrr t\u00eb l\u00ebnd- 29 in\u00ebs. Ajo pothuaj harronte fare se m\u00eb kishte pran\u00eb (l\u00ebre m\u00eb t\u00eb mundohej t\u00eb hynte n\u00eb shpirtin tim t\u00eb vog\u00ebl e plot shqet\u00ebsime), ia ngjallte vetes kujtimet e koh\u00ebve t\u00eb shkuara, prandaj e merrte si krejt t\u00eb zakonshme djegien e her\u00ebpashershme t\u00eb sht\u00ebpis\u00eb son\u00eb dhe derisa e shikonte at\u00eb sikur mrekullohej dhe u thoshte n\u00eb vetvete ndez\u00ebsve t\u00eb ardhsh\u00ebm: “Do t’ia merrni t\u00eb ligat sht\u00ebpis\u00eb son\u00eb! Muret i ka prej guri, pullazin prej qeramidhesh, digjeni n\u00eb mundshi!”. P\u00ebr nj\u00eb \u00e7ast trim\u00ebrohesha edhe un\u00eb. Besoja se nuk mund ta digjnin po t’i l\u00ebshoheshin t\u00eb gjith\u00eb ndez\u00ebsit e bot\u00ebs, prandaj lirisht mund t\u00eb b\u00ebhesha edhe un\u00eb kryengrit\u00ebs, ka\u00e7ak, gjak\u00ebsor, vullnetar e \u00e7kado q\u00eb t\u00eb m\u00eb tekej. Dhe ia shihja vetes p\u00ebr t\u00eb madhe pse isha shqet\u00ebsuar e isha frik\u00ebsuar kot s\u00eb koti. Po mua m\u00eb tep\u00ebr ma nxitnin kureshtjen ata q\u00eb fshihnin p\u00ebrbrenda t\u00eb gjitha ato q\u00eb i takonin sht\u00ebpis\u00eb dhe oborrit ton\u00eb, sesa t’ia shikoja ashtu p\u00ebr karshi dhe t’i d\u00eb- gjoja rr\u00ebfimet e gjyshes p\u00ebr koh\u00ebt e djeg\u00ebsve t\u00eb pam\u00ebshirsh\u00ebm. Isha n\u00eb nj\u00eb mosh\u00eb kur nuk m\u00eb rrihej n\u00eb nj\u00eb vend, as nuk mund t\u00eb k\u00ebnaqesha dot me nj\u00eb t\u00eb shikuar. Hyja e dilja prej nj\u00eb dhome n\u00eb tjetr\u00ebn nga disa her\u00eb n\u00eb dit\u00eb. Zbritja me k\u00ebnaq\u00ebsi n\u00eb bodrum me n\u00ebn\u00ebn dhe me gjyshen, kur shkonin ta milnin lop\u00ebn. U shkoja pas n\u00eb pojat\u00eb. Kisha d\u00ebshir\u00eb t\u00eb ndukja edhe un\u00eb kasht\u00eb a san\u00eb me k\u00ebrrab\u00eb n\u00eb pleme, t’i shihja zogjt\u00eb se si hynin e dilnin n\u00ebp\u00ebr pallzina, t’i k\u00ebrkoja e t’i gjeja \u00e7erdhet e tyre, me t\u00eb cilat ishte plot kashta e pullazit. Edhe n\u00eb \u00e7ilar e n\u00eb hambar mund t\u00eb ndiente njeriu nj\u00eb k\u00ebnaq\u00ebsi t\u00eb ve\u00e7ant\u00eb, sidomos po ta shikonte bot\u00ebn n\u00ebp\u00ebrmjet pallzinave t\u00eb tyre. K\u00ebshtu, secila m\u00eb dukej m\u00eb t\u00ebrheq\u00ebse se tjetra, kurse \u00e7do her\u00eb q\u00eb hyja n\u00eb ndonj\u00ebr\u00ebn prej tyre m\u00eb b\u00ebhej se zbuloja di\u00e7ka t\u00eb re, apo ato q\u00eb i kisha par\u00eb tash m\u00eb dukeshin disi m\u00eb ndryshe. E sidomos bodrumi m\u00eb t\u00ebrhiqte me nj\u00ebfar\u00eb fuqie magjike. Ashtu i err\u00ebt, t\u00ebr\u00eb pleh, ku gati ta zinte frym\u00ebn duhma e shurr\u00ebs dhe e bajgave q\u00eb digjeshin, me vatr\u00ebn e mbetur shkret (bodrumi kishte qen\u00eb dikur dhom\u00eb zjarri), me raftet anash saj dhe me dollap\u00ebt n\u00eb t\u00eb gjitha muret, ku tash pulat i b\u00ebnin furriqet – gjithnj\u00eb m\u00eb dukej plot fsheht\u00ebsi, plot b 30 r\u00ebn\u00eb. Kishin mbetur vet\u00ebm gur\u00ebt e zhvoshkur, kurse nd\u00ebrmjet tyre i hapnin goj\u00ebt vrimat e panum\u00ebrta, formash dhe madh\u00ebsish t\u00eb ndryshme. Ashtu t\u00eb shplar\u00eb edhe nga grimca e fundit e balt\u00ebs s\u00eb dikurshme nd\u00ebrlidh\u00ebse, gur\u00ebt dukej se kacavareshin apo se rrinin pezull fare dhe vet\u00ebm pritnin \u00e7astin t\u00eb shembeshin. Hardhucat hynin e dilnin n\u00ebp\u00ebr ato vrima si n\u00eb sht\u00ebpi t\u00eb vet. – Duhet t\u00eb mbajm\u00eb sa m\u00eb shum\u00eb pula, – thoshte gjyshja, – sepse, si na \u00ebsht\u00eb b\u00ebr\u00eb ky bodrumi yn\u00eb – sikur t\u00eb mos kishim burr\u00eb n\u00eb sht\u00ebpi – do t\u00eb na mbysin gjarp\u00ebrinjt\u00eb. Pulat, sikur v\u00ebrtet ta kishin kuptuar k\u00ebt\u00eb mendim dhe k\u00ebt\u00eb frik\u00eb t\u00eb gjyshes, shkonin e shpurthnin t\u00ebr\u00eb dit\u00ebn e lume pik\u00ebrisht rr\u00ebz\u00eb mureve t\u00eb bodrumit dhe p\u00ebrreth plehut, ku shpesh gjenim vez\u00eb gjarp\u00ebrinjsh. Ato ishin m\u00eb t\u00eb m\u00ebdha se t\u00eb vrem\u00e7ave dhe m\u00eb t\u00eb vogla se t\u00eb pulave – ve t\u00eb tjera nuk m\u00eb kishte r\u00ebn\u00eb t\u00eb shihja – m\u00eb dukeshin t\u00eb bukura dhe m\u00eb p\u00eblqente t\u00eb luaja me to. Prandaj, i k\u00ebrkoja me ngulm dhe kjo d\u00ebshir\u00eb do t\u00eb m\u00eb mbetej p\u00ebrgjithmon\u00eb, derisa t\u00eb rritesha, sikur nga nj\u00eb sosh t\u00eb mos m\u00eb dilte nj\u00eb gjarp\u00ebr i vog\u00ebl, i holl\u00eb, t\u00ebr\u00eb lara… Ai filloi t\u00eb zvarrisej t\u00ebr\u00eb qejf, sikur mezi t\u00eb kishte pritur ta \u00e7liroja nga g\u00ebzhoja e vez\u00ebs s\u00eb tij, duke e nxjerr\u00eb ritmikisht thimthin e tij t\u00eb voc\u00ebrr. Un\u00eb b\u00ebrtita dhe as dita t\u00eb ikja nga tmerri, gjarpri ikte lakadredhas, nj\u00eb pul\u00eb e vuri re dhe sakaq e goditi n\u00eb kok\u00eb me sqepin e saj t\u00eb sigurt, vdekjeprur\u00ebs. Ja, nuk ishte e th\u00ebn\u00eb q\u00eb t\u00eb rronte m\u00eb gjat\u00eb, t\u00eb b\u00ebnte m\u00eb tep\u00ebr se nj\u00eb hap rrug\u00eb, as t\u00eb shihte m\u00eb shum\u00eb se nj\u00eb pleh, nj\u00eb f\u00ebmij\u00eb t\u00eb trembur dhe nj\u00eb pul\u00eb vrastare, n\u00eb e past\u00eb par\u00eb fare, duke qen\u00eb i mrekulluar nga drita q\u00eb po e shihte p\u00ebr her\u00eb t\u00eb par\u00eb dhe nga sendet, t\u00eb cilave ajo u jep shk\u00eblqim dhe ngjyra. Nga kjo dit\u00eb nuk guxova t\u00eb luaja dhe m\u00eb me vez\u00eb gjarp\u00ebrinjsh. Edhe murin e \u00e7araveshur zura ta shikoja me frik\u00eb gjithnj\u00eb m\u00eb t\u00eb madhe. Tamam kur n\u00eb shpirtin tim nisi t\u00eb l\u00ebshonte rr\u00ebnj\u00eb gjithnj\u00eb m\u00eb t\u00eb thella kjo frik\u00eb, n\u00eb dhom\u00ebn ton\u00eb t\u00eb fjetjes, n\u00eb pik\u00eb t\u00eb dit\u00ebs, e gjet\u00ebm nj\u00eb gjarp\u00ebr t\u00eb madh. Ishte shtrir\u00eb n\u00eb t\u00ebr\u00eb gjat\u00ebsin\u00eb e shtrati, fare i qet\u00eb, thuajse ndodhej n\u00eb shtrat t\u00eb vet e jo n\u00eb shtrat t\u00eb bot\u00ebs. N\u00ebna k\u00eblthiti. Mua, q\u00eb po i shkoja bisht pas, nuk m\u00eb doli as z\u00ebri nga frika. Gjyshja hyri me nxitim n\u00eb dhom\u00ebn ton\u00eb. Ajo sikur u qet\u00ebsua nga ajo q\u00eb pa n\u00eb shtrat. 31 – Dil p\u00ebrjashta, – i tha n\u00ebn\u00ebs. – Jepi djalit uj\u00eb q\u00eb t’i kaloj\u00eb frika. N\u00ebna m\u00eb dha uj\u00eb dhe piu edhe vet\u00eb. Gjyshja mbeti t\u00eb merrej vet\u00ebm me gjarprin. Nuk ka m\u00eb trime se gjyshja, mendoja. Pa e prishur fare terezin\u00eb – kjo mbres\u00eb mund t\u00eb fitohej nga z\u00ebri i saj – zuri t’i fliste gjarprit. Fjal\u00ebt e saj ishin t\u00eb qeta, t\u00eb \u00ebmbla, plot kujdes e perk\u00ebdheli. E luste t\u00eb mos na b\u00ebnte keq, t\u00eb largohej nga shtrati yn\u00eb dhe t\u00eb strukej n\u00eb vrim\u00ebn e vet. Her\u00eb pas here e vidhja me bisht t\u00eb syrit se \u00e7’b\u00ebnte gjyshja e si ia d\u00ebgjonte fjal\u00ebt gjarpri – uji v\u00ebrtet m\u00eb kishte qet\u00ebsuar pak – dhe nuk mund t’u besoja as syve, as vesh\u00ebve t\u00eb mi. Gjarpri, sikur t’i thoshte gjyshes: “Ndon\u00ebse m\u00eb p\u00eblqen t\u00eb prehem n\u00eb k\u00ebt\u00eb shtrat t\u00eb past\u00ebr, q\u00eb kund\u00ebrmon er\u00eb sane t\u00eb re, po iki, po ta b\u00ebj qejfin, pasi qenke kaq plak\u00eb e mir\u00eb e trime”, zbriti nga shtrati, e trupoi dhom\u00ebn dhe u fut pak me p\u00ebrtes\u00eb n\u00eb nj\u00eb vrim\u00eb t\u00eb murit, skaj dyshemes\u00eb. – Pse nuk e thirre dik\u00eb nga burrat q\u00eb ta mbyste?! – pothuaj e qortoi n\u00ebna. – Si t\u00eb flem\u00eb tash n\u00eb k\u00ebt\u00eb dhom\u00eb, kur e dim\u00eb se n\u00eb at\u00eb vrim\u00eb \u00ebsht\u00eb strukur nj\u00eb gjarp\u00ebr aq i madh?! Gjyshja e shikoi n\u00ebn\u00ebn m\u00eb tep\u00ebr me keqardhje e me habi, si t\u00eb ishte e vog\u00ebl fare, sesa me hidh\u00ebrim. – Si t\u00eb mbytet, moj, gjarpri i sht\u00ebpis\u00eb?! Je n\u00eb vete ti? Ai \u00ebsht\u00eb roja jon\u00eb… N\u00ebna u skuq dhe e uli kok\u00ebn. Ishte turp t\u00eb flitje keq p\u00ebr t\u00eb, apo t\u00eb mos e njihje fare gjarprin e sht\u00ebpis\u00eb. Si t\u00eb mos kishte ndodhur gj\u00eb fare, gjyshja u ul n\u00eb stolin e saj pran\u00eb vatr\u00ebs, e futi n\u00eb shok\u00eb furk\u00ebn t\u00ebr\u00eb zbukurime, i dha hov boshtit gati t\u00eb mbushur plot dhe pastaj filloi t’i fliste n\u00ebn\u00ebs, duke i mbajtur syt\u00eb n\u00eb fundin e sht\u00ebllung\u00ebs s\u00eb leshit, prej nga dilte peri: -Si nuk e ditke, moj, se gjarpri i sht\u00ebpis\u00eb nuk t\u00eb kafshon?! Ku m\u00eb je rritur ti q\u00eb nuk e paske m\u00ebsuar?! – E di, e di, – u p\u00ebrgjigj n\u00ebna e turp\u00ebruar. – Ama sa vlen kjo, kur rr\u00ebqethem sapo ta kujtoj gjarprin, e l\u00ebre m\u00eb edhe ta shoh n\u00eb shtratin tim, ta di se e kam n\u00eb dhom\u00eb, se mund t\u00eb m\u00eb futet n\u00ebn jorgan, n\u00eb gji t\u00eb f\u00ebmij\u00ebve… -Edhe n\u00eb u futt\u00eb, nuk u b\u00ebn gj\u00eb, – fliste gjyshja me siguri t\u00eb plot\u00eb. – E kam gjetur gjarprin un\u00eb edhe n\u00ebn jorgan, edhe n\u00eb djep t\u00eb burrit t\u00ebnd kur IN MEMORIAM 32 ka qen\u00eb foshnj\u00eb… I kam folur dhe ai m\u00eb ka d\u00ebgjuar, \u00ebsht\u00eb futur n\u00eb vrim\u00eb t\u00eb vet… Mbaje mend, se je e re ti, gjarpri \u00ebsht\u00eb roj\u00eb e rob\u00ebve t\u00eb sht\u00ebpis\u00eb. Kur ne flem\u00eb, ai kalon mbi trupat tan\u00eb q\u00eb t\u00eb na mbroj\u00eb. Ku ka gjarp\u00ebr, nuk ka t\u00eb keqe… – E si na mbron, gjyshe? – pyeta, pasi nuk m\u00eb bind\u00ebn fjal\u00ebt e saj. – Si?! – u zu ngusht\u00eb ajo. – K\u00ebt\u00eb nuk e di as un\u00eb… Gjarpri \u00ebsht\u00eb fsheht\u00ebsi e madhe… Ai ashtu na duket, por vet\u00ebm zoti e di se \u00e7’fshihet n\u00ebn l\u00ebkur\u00ebn e tij… dhe sa \u00ebsht\u00eb… sa fuqi ka… Gjarpri mund t\u00eb jet\u00eb edhe njeri… Ta kam treguar at\u00eb p\u00ebrrall\u00ebn p\u00ebr djalin gjarp\u00ebr q\u00eb martohet me \u00e7ik\u00ebn e mbretit? – Po, gjyshe. – Edhe ata kan\u00eb menduar se ajo \u00ebsht\u00eb martuar me gjarp\u00ebr, po \u00e7’djalosh i bukur na ka qen\u00eb ai! Gishtat e that\u00eb t\u00eb gjyshes e nduknin dhe e ngjeshnin leshin me shpejt\u00ebsi t\u00eb pabesueshme, boshti sillej aq shpejt sa ag\u00ebrshaku gati nuk shihej fare. Gjyshja e nd\u00ebr- prente pak\u00ebz rr\u00ebfimin sa p\u00ebr t’i p\u00ebshtyr\u00eb gishtat, kurse un\u00eb sakaq tretesha n\u00eb p\u00ebrfytyrime t\u00eb bot\u00ebs mahnit\u00ebse e plot befasi t\u00eb asaj p\u00ebrrall\u00ebs p\u00ebr djaloshin 33 Gjyshja vazhdoi t\u00eb fliste, n\u00ebna gjeti nj\u00eb arsye dhe doli p\u00ebrjashta, kurse mua m\u00eb kujtoheshin p\u00ebrralla e rr\u00ebfime t\u00eb ndryshme p\u00ebr gjarp\u00ebrinj e p\u00ebr bolla. Ishte rr\u00ebqeth\u00ebs sidomos rr\u00ebfimi p\u00ebr nj\u00eb boll\u00eb t\u00eb gjat\u00eb sa nj\u00eb litar, me flok\u00eb t\u00eb kuqe si nj\u00eb vajz\u00eb, e cila i mbyste njer\u00ebzit q\u00eb hynin n\u00eb livadhin ku rronte ajo. M\u00eb b\u00ebhej se e ndieja se si ma shtr\u00ebngonte trupin ajo boll\u00eb gjigante dhe pastaj sesi e fuste kok\u00ebn e saj n\u00ebn sqetull\u00ebn time, q\u00eb t\u00eb ma shponte trupin dhe t\u00eb ma hante zemr\u00ebn… Dora m\u00eb shkonte vetvetiu s\u00eb pari n\u00ebn sqetull, pastaj mbi zem\u00ebr… Zemra ishte aty dhe rrahte pak m\u00eb shpejt se zakonisht, duke treguar k\u00ebshtu jo vet\u00ebm se ishte aty, n\u00eb vendin e vet, sh\u00ebndosh\u00eb e mir\u00eb, por edhe shqet\u00ebsimin tim. Pas k\u00ebsaj ngjarjeje frika erdhi duke m’u shtuar me hov p\u00ebr \u00e7do dit\u00eb e p\u00ebr \u00e7do nat\u00eb. Dit\u00ebt i kaloja disi, ama net\u00ebt donin t\u00eb m\u00eb \u00e7mendnin fare. Sapo fikej drita, m\u00eb b\u00ebhej se m\u00eb sulej nj\u00eb gjarp\u00ebr n\u00eb fytyr\u00eb. B\u00ebrtitja. – \u00c7\u203ake? – m\u00eb afrohej n\u00ebna. – Po kam frik\u00eb, – mezi flitja. – Ih, edhe ti! Duke u rritur, duke u b\u00ebr\u00eb m\u00eb frikacak! E sheh se nuk ka gj\u00eb?! Fli tash! Ja, edhe llamb\u00ebn po ta l\u00eb t\u00eb ndezur. N\u00ebna e ndizte Ilamb\u00ebn, ia ulte fitilin q\u00eb t\u00eb mos shpenzonte shum\u00eb vajguri dhe shtrihej. – Ke frik\u00eb tash? – m\u00eb pyeste. – Jo, – i thosha, duke ia ngulur syt\u00eb drit\u00ebs s\u00eb zbeht\u00eb t\u00eb llamb\u00ebs, sikur prej saj t\u00eb m\u00eb vinte shp\u00ebtimi. Babai kishte filluar t\u00eb g\u00ebrhiste kaher\u00eb. Edhe n\u00ebna flinte. Un\u00eb p\u00ebrpiqesha t\u00eb rrija zgjuar, duke e endur shi- kimin prej drit\u00ebs s\u00eb llamb\u00ebs n\u00ebp\u00ebr trar\u00ebt e tavanit dhe prej trar\u00ebve te drita, gjithnj\u00eb duke u p\u00ebrpjekur t\u00eb mos e l\u00ebshoja shikimin posht\u00eb te dyshemeja, n\u00eb fund t\u00eb murit, ku ishte vrima e atij gjarprit t\u00eb tmerrsh\u00ebm. S’e di sa rrija ashtu, po dikur qepallat m\u00eb r\u00ebndoheshin dhe gjumi pa- pritmas m\u00eb kapte n\u00eb kurthin e vet. \u00cbndrrat m\u00eb shfaqeshin secila m\u00eb frik\u00ebsuese se tjetra. Shembje dhe gjarp\u00ebrinj. P\u00ebrnj\u00ebher\u00ebsh shembeshin muret e bodrumit, gur\u00ebt merr- nin rrokullisjen teposht\u00eb Ar\u00ebs s\u00eb Bregut, kurse gjarp\u00ebrinjt\u00eb dilnin grumbuj-grumbuj prej tyre dhe, duke b\u00ebr\u00eb leqe me trupat e tyre t\u00eb shkruar e duke i nxjerr\u00eb thimthat, vinin drejt meje, donin t\u00eb m\u00eb hidheshin sip\u00ebr bashk\u00eb me tavanin, i cili tashm\u00eb kishte mbetur pezull pas shembjes s\u00eb mureve. IN MEMORIAM 34 K\u00eblthitja dhe ia nxirrja vetes gjumin me z\u00ebrin tim, apo m\u00eb tundnin e m\u00eb zgjonin prind\u00ebrit, nuk e kuptoja dot. Kur i hapja syt\u00eb, veten e shihja t\u00eb ulur n\u00eb cep t\u00eb shtratit. Anash m\u00eb q\u00ebndronin prind\u00ebrit, t\u00eb cil\u00ebt nuk mund t\u00eb ma gjenin \u00e7aren\u00eb. Llamba vazhdonte ta dridhte at\u00eb drit\u00ebn e vog\u00ebl e t\u00eb dob\u00ebt. Muret ishin t\u00eb t\u00ebra e t\u00eb bardha, si gjithmon\u00eb. Tavani – n\u00eb vendin e vet, i nxir\u00eb dhe i bluar nga krimbat si mos m\u00eb keq, i b\u00ebr\u00eb blozhd\u00eb. – \u00c7\u203apate? – m\u00eb pyetnin. – \u00c7\u203at\u00eb trembi? N\u00eb sy ua shihja frik\u00ebn, shqet\u00ebsimin, dhembshurin\u00eb. I shikoja i hutuar, duke u dridhur, pa mundur t\u00eb vija n\u00eb vete, pa arritur t\u00eb kthehesha plot\u00ebsisht n\u00eb bot\u00ebn e qet\u00eb t\u00eb dhom\u00ebs son\u00eb. – Pse b\u00ebrtite? – m\u00eb pyetnin s\u00ebrish. – Na trego… \u00c7’po t\u00eb d\u00ebftohet? -Gjarp\u00ebrinjt\u00eb… gjarp\u00ebrinjt\u00eb dhe bodrumi… – mezi p\u00ebrgjigjesha dhe trupin ma p\u00ebrshkonin t\u00eb rr\u00ebqethurat. – \u00c7\u203agjarp\u00ebrinj?! \u00c7\u203abodrum?! -Bodrumi po shembet… gjarp\u00ebrinjt\u00eb po dalin prej vrimave t\u00eb veta… po m\u00eb sulmojn\u00eb… M\u00eb shikonin me habi, me frik\u00eb, me shqet\u00ebsim, me dhembshuri. -\u00c7\u203agjarp\u00ebrinj? – babai p\u00ebrpiqej t\u00eb m\u00eb largonte nga ankthi i \u00ebndrrave t\u00eb mia. – E sheh, k\u00ebtu nuk ka asgj\u00eb. Edhe ne jemi me ty. Edhe llamb\u00ebn po ta l\u00ebm\u00eb t\u00eb nde- zur… Nd\u00ebrkaq, bodrumi \u00ebsht\u00eb i fort\u00eb… nuk mund ta rr\u00ebzoj\u00eb as gjylja e topit… – Nes\u00ebr duhet t\u00eb shkosh te hoxha, – i p\u00ebshp\u00ebriste n\u00ebna babait. Ai sesi m\u00ebdyshej n\u00eb vetvete e nuk thoshte gj\u00eb. P\u00ebr \u00e7do nat\u00eb \u00ebndrrat vinin duke m’u b\u00ebr\u00eb m\u00eb t\u00eb tmerrshme. Nuk m\u00eb ndihmonin gj\u00eb as prania e prind\u00ebrve, as llamba e ndezur, as fjal\u00ebt m\u00eb t\u00eb \u00ebmbla t\u00eb bot\u00ebs… M\u00eb soll\u00ebn hajmali t\u00eb shum\u00eb hoxhallar\u00ebve. M’i vun\u00eb ato n\u00eb trup, n\u00ebn jast\u00ebk, ku jo? Ma dhan\u00eb ta pija ujin e tyre dhe ujin e shehlereve, t\u00eb cilat m\u00eb kishin shkrir\u00eb plumb (n\u00ebna thoshte se plumbi tregonte shum\u00eb gjarp\u00ebrinj t\u00eb lidhur l\u00ebmsh). Edhe n\u00eb tyrbe ma shpun\u00eb nj\u00eb rrob\u00eb trupi. Edhe baba shehu m\u00eb p\u00ebrbiroi n\u00ebp\u00ebr tespihet e tij t\u00eb gjata, duke k\u00ebnduar dua arabisht… Mir\u00ebpo, gur\u00ebt dhe gjarp\u00ebrinjt\u00eb e \u00ebndrrave t\u00eb mia sikur vet\u00ebm merrnin forma t\u00eb reja nga \u00e7do hajmali dhe nga \u00e7do t\u00eb yshtur. Gur\u00ebt rro- kulliseshin gjithnj\u00eb 35 m\u00eb marramendsh\u00ebm teposht\u00eb Ar\u00ebs s\u00eb Bregut, gjarp\u00ebrinjt\u00eb lakadredheshin e nxitonin gjithnj\u00eb e m\u00eb shum\u00eb drejt meje, tavani m\u00eb zbriste nj\u00eb p\u00ebll\u00ebmb\u00eb mbi kok\u00eb… Dhe do t\u00eb binte e do t\u00eb ma zinte frym\u00ebn sikur t\u00eb mos b\u00ebrtitja me sa z\u00eb kisha dhe sikur prej z\u00ebrit tim t\u00eb mos trembeshin t\u00eb gjith\u00eb, t\u00eb mos e ndalnin hovin dhe t\u00eb mos pendoheshin p\u00ebr at\u00eb q\u00eb kishin dashur t\u00eb b\u00ebnin: gur\u00ebt ktheheshin s\u00ebrish n\u00eb mure, gjarp\u00ebrinjt\u00eb fshiheshin n\u00eb biruca, tavani nderej mbi kokat tona dhe q\u00ebndronte m\u00eb se i sigurt mbi t\u00eb kat\u00ebr muret… Ja, papritur t\u00eb gjitha shta- ngeshin n\u00eb vend dhe t\u00eb mbushej mendja se ashtu t\u00eb ngrira kishin qen\u00eb gjithmon\u00eb. Vet\u00ebm n\u00ebna dhe babai viheshin n\u00eb l\u00ebvizje: k\u00ebrcenin t\u00eb trembur nga shtrati, m\u00eb jepnin t\u00eb pija nj\u00eb g\u00ebll\u00ebnk\u00eb uj\u00eb, p\u00ebrpiqeshin t\u00eb m\u00eb sillnin n\u00eb vete m\u00eb fjal\u00ebt m\u00eb t\u00eb \u00ebmbla. Me t\u00eb mbaruar t\u00eb t\u00eb shirave babai na \u00e7oi te dajat. – Po t\u00eb \u00e7oj m\u00eb her\u00ebt se viteve t\u00eb tjera, – i tha babai n\u00ebn\u00ebs, – q\u00eb djali ta nd\u00ebrroj\u00eb pak vendin dhe q\u00eb gjyshja e tij t’i k\u00ebrkoj\u00eb far\u00eb ila\u00e7i p\u00ebr ato \u00ebndrrat. N\u00ebna mezi priste t\u00eb shkonte n\u00eb gjini. Edhe un\u00eb u g\u00ebzova shum\u00eb. M\u00eb kishte marr\u00eb malli p\u00ebr gjyshen. P\u00ebr nj\u00eb \u00e7ast i harrova edhe gur\u00ebt e zhvoshkur t\u00eb bodrumit, edhe gjarp\u00ebrinjt\u00eb, edhe hajmalit\u00eb. Fshati i dajave ishte nj\u00eb bot\u00eb krejt tjet\u00ebr kundruall Murrizaj\u00ebs. Atje kishte vet\u00ebm pyje t\u00eb m\u00ebdha ahu, ku nuk mund t\u00eb hynte as drita e diellit, l\u00ebndina me fier dhe tek-tuk ndonj\u00eb ar\u00eb. Kishte shum\u00eb lajthi, kumbulla dhe patate. Lajthi dhe kumbulla kishte edhe te ne, po patate nuk kishte. (Ndon\u00ebse e kishim tok\u00ebn m\u00eb t\u00eb mir\u00eb n\u00eb bot\u00eb, thoshin se nuk i b\u00ebnte patatet, prandaj nuk mbillte njeri). Un\u00eb i doja shum\u00eb patatet dhe vazhdimisht e p\u00ebrfytyroja gjyshen duke i nxjerr\u00eb nga prushi patatet e pjekura. Ahet i gjet\u00ebm ashtu madh\u00ebshtore e t\u00eb err\u00ebta si edhe herat e tjera. Fierin t\u00eb skuqur dhe aty-k\u00ebtu t\u00eb kositur (ua shtronin kafsh\u00ebve dhe e hidhnin mbi kulme sht\u00ebpish). Lajthi dhe kumbulla mund t\u00eb shihje edhe ndan\u00eb rrug\u00ebs. Gjethet e patateve shiheshin n\u00eb \u00e7do ar\u00eb, po ato vet\u00eb ishin fshehur thell\u00eb n\u00eb dhe, sikur ta kishin kuptuar se \u00e7’me- raklinj po u urdh\u00ebronin n\u00eb fshat. E merrja me mend se atyre s\u00eb para u p\u00eblqente t’i hidhje n\u00eb zjarr, t’i piqje dhe t’i haje pastaj. Edhe sht\u00ebpia e dajave ishte po ajo, mbase pak m\u00eb e rr\u00ebzbitur: e zez\u00eb fut\u00eb nga tymi (kishin qorroxhak), por disi e ngroht\u00eb, e dashur. Nuk kishte bodrum dhe ende pa hyr\u00eb mir\u00eb n\u00eb t\u00eb e ndieja veten t\u00eb sigurt. IN MEMORIAM 36 E vum\u00eb re edhe njeriun e par\u00eb, gjyshen. Ishte n\u00eb l\u00ebm\u00eb. Ashtu e vog\u00ebl, e hajthme dhe e g\u00ebrmu\u00e7ur, hidhte dy-tri t\u00ebrplote n\u00eb hava, pastaj e linte t\u00ebrplot\u00ebn menjan\u00eb q\u00eb me fshes\u00eb ta lante grumbullin e drithit nga kasht\u00ebzat dhe nga kall\u00ebzat. Ajo punonte me nguti, q\u00eb ta hidhte drithin para se t\u00eb binte terri, prandaj as kishte koh\u00eb t\u00eb shikonte anash. – Gjyshe! – e befasova. Ajo e hodhi fshes\u00ebn, m\u00eb shtr\u00ebngoi fort n\u00eb parzm\u00ebn e saj t\u00eb lig\u00ebsht, m’i p\u00ebrk\u00ebdheli flok\u00ebt dhe m\u00eb tha: – Qenke b\u00ebr\u00eb burr\u00eb, lum gjyshja p\u00ebr ty! N\u00eb mbr\u00ebmje u mblodh\u00ebn t\u00eb gjith\u00eb rreth vatr\u00ebs, pos daj\u00ebs, i cili se ku ishte argat. Drita e fitila\u00e7es ishte aq e dob\u00ebt, sa nuk mund shihje as t\u00eb haje, l\u00ebre m\u00eb t\u00eb punoje gj\u00eb (grat\u00eb domosdo duhej t\u00eb thurnin di\u00e7ka, sidomos n\u00ebna, q\u00eb vet\u00ebm tash kishte koh\u00eb m\u00eb shum\u00eb p\u00ebr \u00e7orap\u00ebt, jelek\u00ebt e dorezat tona dhe p\u00ebr p\u00ebshtjellak\u00ebt e vet dhe t\u00eb gjyshes). Babai u ngrit, e mori fitila\u00e7en nga gozhda dhe pastaj, pak prej s\u00eb larti e si zot sht\u00ebpie e jo si mysafir, i tha nuses s\u00eb daj\u00ebs: – Ma sill nj\u00eb gjilp\u00ebr\u00eb! Ajo zuri t\u00eb sillej si e nd\u00ebrkryer n\u00ebp\u00ebr mug\u00ebtir\u00ebn e dhom\u00ebs, duke gj\u00ebmuar sikur t\u00eb k\u00ebrkohej t\u00eb b\u00ebnte nj\u00eb gj\u00eb t\u00eb pamundshme. Dikur mezi ia solli babait gjilp\u00ebr\u00ebn. -Merre, – i tha me z\u00eb t\u00eb dridhur, – po mos ia ngrit shum\u00eb, se nuk b\u00ebn, se prishet… – K\u00ebt\u00eb e di un\u00eb, – iu p\u00ebrgjigj prer\u00eb dhe me mosp\u00ebrfillje babai dhe ia rriti flak\u00ebn derisa zuri t\u00eb nxirrte tym. – Nuk do t\u00eb fikeni p\u00ebr nj\u00eb nat\u00eb, xhan\u00ebm. Nes\u00ebr- mbr\u00ebma, pasi t\u00eb kem ikur un\u00eb, po desh\u00ebt mos e ndizni fare. -T\u00eb lumt\u00eb dora! – e uroi gjyshja me gjysm\u00eb z\u00ebri, nga frika se po e d\u00ebgjonte e reja. – M\u00eb verbuan para koh\u00ebs. I ka bashkuar zoti… N\u00eb ato fjal\u00eb u hap dera. – \u00c7\u203ae keni \u00e7uar aq shum\u00eb fitilin e fitila\u00e7es?! – e d\u00ebgjuam m\u00eb par\u00eb z\u00ebrin e daj\u00ebs sesa e pam\u00eb at\u00eb vet\u00eb. Kur na pa ne, e uli z\u00ebrin, u p\u00ebrsh\u00ebndet me mysafir\u00ebt, po m\u00eb dukej se syri i kishte mbetur te drita e fitila\u00e7es. Rrija n\u00eb nj\u00eb qoshe dhe \u00e7’mendoja. 37 – Eja n\u00eb prehrin tim t\u00eb t\u00eb dhuroj di\u00e7ka. U ula n\u00eb prehrin e ngroht\u00eb t\u00eb gjyshes dhe iu dor\u00ebzova d\u00ebshir\u00ebs s\u00eb saj posi nj\u00eb qengj i perk\u00ebdhelur. Ajo se \u00e7’m\u00eb vuri rreth qaf\u00ebs. E ndjeva vet\u00ebm se qe e ftoht\u00eb. – Sa i bukur! – tha n\u00ebna t\u00ebr\u00eb k\u00ebnaq\u00ebsi. E shikova p\u00ebr s\u00eb kithi: ishte nj\u00eb krahosh fort i bukur, me gjithfar\u00eb larash e me plot rrusha t\u00ebr\u00eb lajle. – Ta baj\u00eb djali, q\u00eb t\u00eb mos i bjer\u00eb m\u00ebsysh, – tha gjyshja. – Ma ka punuar p\u00ebr qejf nj\u00eb arnaute… Dajat i quanin k\u00ebshtu grat\u00eb e disa fshatrave fqinj\u00eb, t\u00eb cilat vishnin dimi t\u00eb leshta, dofar\u00eb rrobash t\u00eb tjera t\u00eb ve\u00e7anta dhe punonin me rruaza gjith\u00e7ka, me t\u00eb cilat e stolisnin \u00e7do pjes\u00eb t\u00eb veshjes dhe t\u00eb trupit. – Duart e arta i kan\u00eb k\u00ebto arnautet! – i mburri gjyshja. – \u00c7’u sheh syri e punon dora. E shihni, e ka punuar gjarprin si t\u00eb ishte i gjall\u00eb, me lara, me sy… – Gjarprin! – k\u00eblthita dhe brofa n\u00eb k\u00ebmb\u00eb i shastisur. N\u00ebna, q\u00eb ma dinte hallin, m\u00eb kapi p\u00ebr krah\u00ebsh. – Rruaza jan\u00eb ato, rruaza… – m\u00eb fliste ajo, pa e ditur se si t\u00eb m\u00eb sillte n\u00eb vete. – Ja shikoji, preki! Ma hoqi krahoshin nga qafa dhe ma afroi ta prekja. Po un\u00eb u struka n\u00eb nj\u00eb k\u00ebnd t\u00eb dhom\u00ebs, pa guxuar as ta shikoja at\u00eb krahosh n\u00eb form\u00eb gjarpri, i cili m\u00eb dukej se ende po ma shtr\u00ebngonte fytin, kurse nga ftoht\u00ebsia e tij m\u00eb ngjethej trupi. Un\u00eb mbeta ashtu n\u00eb k\u00ebnd, kurse babai e n\u00ebna se \u00e7’i shpjegonin di\u00e7ka gjyshes me z\u00eb t\u00eb ul\u00ebt q\u00eb t\u00eb mos i d\u00ebgjoja un\u00eb. E qart\u00eb: flitnin p\u00ebr mua dhe p\u00ebr frik\u00ebn time. – Si, more?! – foli gjyshja me z\u00eb pak m\u00eb t\u00eb lart\u00eb sa ta d\u00ebgjoja edhe un\u00eb. – Deri tash nuk m\u00eb ka r\u00ebn\u00eb t\u00eb d\u00ebgjoj t\u00eb jet\u00eb frik\u00ebsuar f\u00ebmij\u00eb nga rruazat. I \u00e7’brumi na qenka ky nipi im?! M\u00eb vinte shum\u00eb keq se pse ia kisha l\u00ebnduar zemr\u00ebn gjyshes sime t\u00eb mir\u00eb, duke e refuzuar nj\u00eb dhurat\u00eb aq t\u00eb bukur, po \u00e7’t\u00eb b\u00ebja, pasi frika ime, si \u00e7do frik\u00eb tjet\u00ebr, kishte shp\u00ebrthyer krejt papritur dhe pa d\u00ebshir\u00ebn time? As gjyshja nuk mund t\u00eb vinte n\u00eb vete pas k\u00ebsaj ngjarjeje. T\u00eb nes\u00ebrmen, sigurisht jo pa keqardhje, gjyshja e b\u00ebri cop\u00eb-cop\u00eb at\u00eb krahosh t\u00eb mrekulluesh\u00ebm. Rrethin n\u00eb form\u00eb gjarpri e la p\u00ebr tezet e mia t\u00eb IN MEMORIAM 38 vogla, q\u00eb ta varnin n\u00eb qaf\u00eb pasi t\u00eb ikja un\u00eb, kurse rrushat m’i vuri n\u00eb jelek dhe n\u00eb flok\u00eb, q\u00eb t\u00eb mos i shkonte krejt kot mundi asaj arnautes duarart\u00eb dhe q\u00eb syri i keq t\u00eb ikte sa m\u00eb larg prej meje. Ndon\u00ebse te dajat e ndieja veten shum\u00eb m\u00eb mir\u00eb, ndodhte q\u00eb ndonj\u00ebher\u00eb t\u00eb \u00ebnd\u00ebrroja se si ngjallej ai gjarpri i krahoshit dhe zinte t\u00eb ma shtr\u00ebngonte fytin… K\u00ebshtu, krejt n\u00eb ankth, m\u00eb kaluan edhe vjeshta, dimri, gjysma e pranver\u00ebs… At\u00ebher\u00eb babai u kujtua t’i lyente me balt\u00eb faqet e jashtme t\u00eb mureve t\u00eb bodrumit dhe t\u00eb m\u00eb sillte dy gjarp\u00ebrinj t\u00eb mbytur. – Ja, – m\u00eb tha, – murin e leva q\u00eb t\u00eb mos mund t\u00eb hyj\u00eb n\u00eb t\u00eb as buburreci, kurse gjarp\u00ebrinjt\u00eb i mbyta q\u00eb t\u00eb gjith\u00eb. Tash fli i qet\u00eb. Gjarp\u00ebrinjt\u00eb me koka t\u00eb \u00e7allamitura i vari n\u00eb gardh. Po t’i prekje me thup\u00ebr, trupat e tyre, e sidomos bishtat, l\u00ebviznin ende. – Baba, ata l\u00ebvizin! – thash\u00eb me shqet\u00ebsim e me frik\u00eb, derisa f\u00ebmij\u00ebt e tjer\u00eb i preknin p\u00ebr t’u arg\u00ebtuar. – Do t\u00eb ringjallen dhe… – Jo, jo, nuk do t\u00eb ringjallen, – ma priti babai me nj\u00eb ton t\u00eb z\u00ebrit q\u00eb t\u00eb jepte siguri t\u00eb plot\u00eb. – Sapo t\u00eb per\u00ebndoj\u00eb dielli, nuk do t\u00eb l\u00ebvizin m\u00eb. N\u00eb mure nuk kishte mbetur plas\u00eb as p\u00ebr t\u00eb hyr\u00eb maja e briskut, e l\u00ebre m\u00eb vrima p\u00ebr gjarp\u00ebrinj. Plehu ishte hedhur i t\u00ebri n\u00eb ara, vendi i tij ishte b\u00ebr\u00eb tepsi. Gjarp\u00ebrinjt\u00eb e mbytur u ngrin\u00eb, p\u00ebrgjithmon\u00eb, me t\u00eb per\u00ebnduar t\u00eb diellit; kot i preknin me thup\u00ebr, muskujt e tyre nuk do t\u00eb l\u00ebviznin kurr\u00eb m\u00eb p\u00ebr jet\u00eb t\u00eb jet\u00ebve. E mora edhe un\u00eb nj\u00eb thup\u00ebr. E preka t\u00eb parin: ishte b\u00ebr\u00eb ko\u00e7an. E preka t\u00eb dytin: po ashtu. Tash e ndjeva nj\u00ebfar\u00eb sigurie t\u00eb papandehur, nj\u00ebfar\u00eb \u00e7lirimi t\u00eb atyp\u00ebratysh\u00ebm nga ankthi q\u00eb m\u00eb kishte mbajtur n\u00eb kthetrat e veta aq muaj me radh\u00eb. Po nga \u00ebndrrat e mia shembjet dhe gjarprinjt\u00eb u larguan shum\u00eb m\u00eb ngadal\u00eb, me manovrime t\u00eb papritura, me t\u00ebrheqje taktike dhe me sulme t\u00eb s\u00ebrishme krejt t\u00eb befasishme. Ndodhte k\u00ebshtu, sepse ishte e pamundshme q\u00eb rreth e p\u00ebrreth t\u00eb mos shihje gjarp\u00ebrinj p\u00ebr \u00e7do dit\u00eb e n\u00eb \u00e7do gj\u00eb. Gjarprin e skalitnin n\u00eb arka t\u00eb nuseve, n\u00eb k\u00ebrroqe, n\u00eb d\u00ebrrasa t\u00eb 39 tavanit, n\u00eb bisht t\u00eb kos\u00ebs, n\u00eb k\u00ebnata, n\u00eb ibrig\u00eb e n\u00eb kalanica, e q\u00ebndisnin n\u00eb k\u00ebmisha, e punonin p\u00ebr qafore e p\u00ebr byzylyk\u00eb, e paraqitnin n\u00eb qilima e n\u00eb sixhade… Madje edhe ato vijat zigzag zbukuruese t\u00eb \u00e7o- rap\u00ebve dhe t\u00eb pun\u00ebdoreve t\u00eb tjera t\u00eb kujtonin gjarprin, t\u00eb thjeshtuar e t\u00eb shnd\u00ebrruar tashm\u00eb n\u00eb shprehje simbolike. Ndon\u00ebse nuk e kuptoja pse ndodhte k\u00ebshtu, gjithnj\u00eb e m\u00eb tep\u00ebr po bindesha se as plakat, as pleqt\u00eb, as burrat, as grat\u00eb, as vajzat nuk mund ta merrnin dot me mend pa ato figura t\u00eb pafund e aq t\u00eb larmishme t\u00eb gjarp\u00ebrinjve. Gjarprin e nderonin t\u00eb gjith\u00eb dhe nuk ishte aspak n\u00eb rregull t’ia kishe frik\u00ebn, apo, ruajna zot, ta urreje. Dhe p\u00ebrpiqesha t\u00eb m\u00ebsohesha me t\u00eb. Disa vjet m\u00eb von\u00eb, pasi kisha d\u00ebgjuar aq shum\u00eb p\u00ebrralla t\u00eb reja p\u00ebr gjarprin, kisha par\u00eb aq shum\u00eb skalitje, q\u00ebndisje e endje t\u00eb tij dhe pasi kisha par\u00eb shum\u00eb gjarp\u00ebrinj t\u00eb gjall\u00eb, s\u00ebrish ma p\u00ebrshkuan trupin t\u00eb dridhurat, kur n\u00eb der\u00ebn e oborrit t\u00eb nj\u00eb bashk\u00ebfshatari, tek i cili babai m\u00eb kishte d\u00ebrguar t\u00eb k\u00ebrkoja di\u00e7ka, e vura re se trakulloja vinte disi si gjarp\u00ebr. P\u00ebrnj\u00ebher\u00ebsh m\u00eb sulmuan t\u00eb gjitha ato kujtime e \u00ebndrra t\u00eb ankthshme t\u00eb dikurshme. E p\u00ebrmblodha veten, e ngrita dor\u00ebn dhe trokita tri her\u00eb, me guxim, gjithnj\u00eb m\u00eb fuqish\u00ebm se her\u00ebn e m\u00ebparshme. T\u00eb trokiturat jehuan t\u00eb qarta, t\u00eb sigurta, t\u00eb fuqi- shme… Ato sikur shprehnin ngadh\u00ebnjimin tim p\u00ebrfun- dimtar mbi ankthin e frik\u00ebs nga \u00e7far\u00ebdo gjarpri, e jo vet\u00ebm prej atyre t\u00eb sht\u00ebpis\u00eb, apo prej atyre gjarp\u00ebrinjve t\u00eb pajet\u00eb, t\u00eb cil\u00ebt q\u00ebndronin gjithmon\u00eb n\u00eb t\u00eb nj\u00ebjtin vend dhe n\u00eb t\u00eb nj\u00ebjt\u00ebn pozit\u00eb n\u00ebp\u00ebr arka, bishta kose, k\u00ebrroqe, tavane, qilima, k\u00ebmisha… Kur u rrita edhe ca, m\u00eb hyri meraku t\u00eb kisha nj\u00eb brisk. \u00cbnd\u00ebrroja se si do t\u00eb punoja nj\u00eb mulli t\u00eb vog\u00ebl, me rrot\u00eb q\u00eb do ta sillte uji i Gurr\u00ebs, me gur t\u00eb b\u00ebr\u00eb nga nj\u00eb cop\u00eb g\u00ebrna\u00e7, me dizhm\u00eb, me koshin e drithit, madje edhe me nj\u00eb \u00e7akall\u00eb sa grima… Doja t\u00eb gdhendja edhe nj\u00eb shkop t\u00eb bukur, ta thurja nj\u00eb shport\u00eb p\u00ebr gjyshen, t’i punoja disa drug\u00ebza ojmesh p\u00ebr Beharen… Xhaxhai v\u00ebrtet ma plot\u00ebsoi d\u00ebshir\u00ebn. Brisku q\u00eb m\u00eb bleu n\u00eb Prishtin\u00eb m’u duk m\u00eb i bukur se asnj\u00eb brisk q\u00eb kisha par\u00eb ndonj\u00eb her\u00eb. Nxitova n\u00eb oborr q\u00eb ta provoja n\u00eb prente mir\u00eb, n\u00eb i lakohej maja. Syri ma kapi nj\u00eb cop\u00eb shkopi lajthie. Pa e kuptuar as vet\u00eb se \u00e7’doja t\u00eb punoja, zura ta skalitja n\u00eb t\u00eb figur\u00ebn e gjarprit. Brisku ishte shum\u00eb i mpreht\u00eb, maja ishte IN MEMORIAM 40 e fort\u00eb dhe shum\u00eb e p\u00ebrshtatshme, prandaj as e hetoja se si ia gdhendja kok\u00ebn, goj\u00ebn e hapur, syrin, vijat dhe larat e trupit, bishtin e p\u00ebrdredhur, madje edhe thimthin e nxjerr\u00eb p\u00ebrjashta, pa m\u00eb shkuar aspak nd\u00ebr mend se \u00e7’tmerr m\u00eb kishin futur n\u00eb shpirt dikur ato vija, ata sy, ai thimth…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
N\u00eb at\u00eb far\u00eb fshati ishte nj\u00eb sht\u00ebpi… Sht\u00ebpia ku isha lindur dhe ku po e kaloja f\u00ebmij\u00ebrin\u00eb, bota e t\u00ebr\u00eb q\u00eb po e njihja n\u00eb vitet e para t\u00eb jet\u00ebs sime. Ajo ishte goxha sht\u00ebpi, me nj\u00eb bodrum posht\u00eb dhe me tri dhoma lart (n\u00eb midis ishte dhoma e zjarrit, kurse n\u00eb t\u00eb dy krah\u00ebt […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":244,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"om_disable_all_campaigns":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[14,15],"tags":[],"yoast_head":"\n