P\u00ebrpara disa muajsh u ndodha n\u00eb nj\u00eb taksi n\u00eb Tiran\u00eb, duke biseduar me shoferin. M\u00eb pyeti n\u00ebse kisha f\u00ebmij\u00eb dhe iu p\u00ebrgjigja se kisha dy vajza t\u00eb vogla. \u201cI pa\u00e7 me jet\u00eb t\u00eb gjat\u00eb\u201d, m\u00eb tha dhe m\u00eb b\u00ebri p\u00ebrshtypje q\u00eb nuk shtoi \u201cMe nj\u00eb djal\u00eb pas!\u201d, sepse kjo \u00ebsht\u00eb fraza shoq\u00ebruese e urimit q\u00eb has kur jam n\u00eb Shqip\u00ebri. Kur ia rr\u00ebfeva k\u00ebt\u00eb, m\u00eb tha se ai vet\u00eb kishte tri vajza. \u201cKur lindi e para nuk u m\u00ebrzita, por kur lindi e dyta u m\u00ebrzita pak. Kur lindi f\u00ebmija i tret\u00eb isha n\u00eb maternitet. Infermierja doli me vajz\u00ebn e tret\u00eb ne krah\u00eb dhe m\u00eb p\u00ebrg\u00ebzoi. Un\u00eb ia lash\u00eb n\u00eb krah\u00eb dhe ika.\u201d, filloi t\u00eb m\u00eb tregonte. \u201cShkova u ula diku p\u00ebr t\u00eb pir\u00eb cigare, \u00e7ka e kisha l\u00ebn\u00eb p\u00ebr 11 vjet. Piva aq shume cigare dhe isha aq i m\u00ebrzitur sa m\u00eb ra te fik\u00ebt.\u201d<\/p>\n
Pse b\u00ebn nj\u00eb baba nj\u00eb gj\u00eb t\u00eb till\u00eb? Cili \u00ebsht\u00eb edukimi q\u00eb marrim p\u00ebrsa i p\u00ebrket m\u00ebnyr\u00ebs se si i trajtojm\u00eb vajzat dhe grat\u00eb? \u00c7far\u00eb shembujsh kemi? \u00c7far\u00eb na formon ne si djem, baballar\u00eb dhe burra p\u00ebr at\u00eb se si sillemi me vajzat dhe grat\u00eb n\u00eb shoq\u00ebrin\u00eb ton\u00eb? K\u00ebto dhe shum\u00eb pyetje t\u00eb tjera, kam frik\u00eb se nuk i kemi shtruar kurr\u00eb seriozisht, qoft\u00eb si shoq\u00ebri, qoft\u00eb individualisht. Ajo q\u00eb kemi b\u00ebr\u00eb p\u00ebr shekuj t\u00eb t\u00ebr\u00eb \u00ebsht\u00eb normalizimi i partiarkalizmit, shtypjes, pabarazis\u00eb dhe dhun\u00ebs kund\u00ebr vajzave dhe grave. Kjo padrejt\u00ebsi e ky diskriminim na jan\u00eb b\u00ebr\u00eb aq normale sa q\u00eb shumica nuk arrin t\u2019i dalloj\u00eb m\u00eb p\u00ebrve\u00e7 se kur shohim shembuj t\u00eb llahtarsh\u00ebm n\u00eb media, si rasti i vajz\u00ebs 13-vje\u00e7are n\u00eb Kavaj\u00eb, i vajz\u00ebs 15-vje\u00e7are n\u00eb Mal\u00ebsi t\u00eb Madhe apo vajz\u00ebs 15-vje\u00e7are n\u00eb Drenas t\u00eb Kosov\u00ebs.<\/p>\n
N\u00eb Shqip\u00ebri e kemi zakon t\u00eb pyetemi gjer\u00eb e gjat\u00eb kur takohemi. Ajo q\u00eb mua m\u00eb b\u00ebn p\u00ebrshtypje \u00ebsht\u00eb se \u00e7far\u00eb themi gjat\u00eb k\u00ebtyre takimeve. N\u00eb p\u00ebrgjith\u00ebsi d\u00ebgjoj: \u201cSi i ke djemt\u00eb?\u201d, \u201cSi i ke v\u00ebllez\u00ebrit\u201d ose \u201cSi e ke bab\u00ebn?\u201d? Duket sikur pjesa d\u00ebrrmuese e burrave n\u00eb Shqip\u00ebri nuk kan\u00eb n\u00ebna, vajza, motra apo shoqe! E n\u00ebse ato ekzistojn\u00eb, mbeten n\u00ebn hije apo n\u00eb sh\u00ebrbim t\u00eb djemve dhe burrave. Shumica jon\u00eb \u00ebsht\u00eb rritur me motra dhe n\u00ebna q\u00eb na kan\u00eb ndejtur gati n\u00eb sh\u00ebrbim. Di\u00e7ka q\u00eb ne e kemi marr\u00eb p\u00ebr t\u00eb mir\u00ebqen\u00eb, si gj\u00ebn\u00eb m\u00eb normale n\u00eb bot\u00eb! Padyshim, pasi gatimin nuk e b\u00ebjn\u00eb burrat. As tavolin\u00ebn nuk e shtrojn\u00eb burrat. En\u00ebt nuk i lajn\u00eb burrat. Shtratin nuk e ndreqin burrat. Rrobat nuk i lajn\u00eb burrat. Sht\u00ebpin\u00eb nuk e mbajn\u00eb burrat. Sikurse f\u00ebmij\u00ebt nuk i rrisin burrat\u2026<\/p>\n
\u201cBurrat n\u00ebn hije, lozin, kuvendojn\u00eb, pika q\u00eb s\u2019u bie, se nga grat\u00eb rrojn\u00eb!\u2026 Moj e mjera grua, \u00e7\u2019e do burr\u00eb zin\u00eb q\u00eb ftohet n\u00eb krua dhe ti mban sht\u00ebpin\u00eb!\u201d, shkruante \u00c7ajupi di\u00e7ka si m\u00eb shum\u00eb se nj\u00eb shekull m\u00eb par\u00eb. Shifra nga Organizata Nd\u00ebrkomb\u00ebtare e Pun\u00ebs p\u00ebr vitin 2018, tregojn\u00eb se grat\u00eb shqiptare shpenzojn\u00eb 270 minuta n\u00eb dit\u00eb me pune sht\u00ebpie, kurse burrat 45 minuta. Statistikat tregojn\u00eb t\u00eb jemi n\u00eb vend t\u00eb pest\u00eb n\u00eb bot\u00eb, p\u00ebrsa i p\u00ebrket k\u00ebsaj pabarazie. Sa kemi ndryshuar n\u00eb 100 vjet?<\/p>\n
Ky diskutim nuk \u00ebsht\u00eb thjesht \u00e7\u00ebshtje pun\u00ebsh sht\u00ebpie. Sa prind\u00ebr kan\u00eb derdhur lot\u00eb vet\u00ebm sepse jan\u00eb b\u00ebr\u00eb me vajz\u00eb? Sa baballar\u00eb jan\u00eb m\u00ebrzitur a thua se u kish r\u00ebn\u00eb ndonj\u00eb mort, vet\u00ebm e vet\u00ebm ngaq\u00eb f\u00ebmija i ardhur n\u00eb jet\u00eb ishte vajz\u00eb? Sa t\u00eb tjer\u00eb jan\u00eb ngush\u00eblluar p\u00ebr t\u00eb nj\u00ebjt\u00ebn arsye? Sa her\u00eb u p\u00ebrs\u00ebritet vajzave n\u00eb shoq\u00ebrin\u00eb ton\u00eb se n\u00eb jet\u00eb ato \u201clindin n\u00eb sht\u00ebpi t\u00eb huaj dhe shkojn\u00eb tek sht\u00ebpia e burrit\u201d.<\/p>\n
Sa \u00ebndrra, talente dhe aspirata vajzash jan\u00eb varrosur vet\u00ebm sepse ato ishin vajza? Sa her\u00eb b\u00ebhen d\u00ebshmitare vajzat n\u00eb shoq\u00ebri si e jona, se si djemt\u00eb privilegjohen kurse ato shtypen e trajtohen si sh\u00ebrb\u00ebtore? K\u00ebshtu i trajtojm\u00eb vajzat dhe grat\u00eb n\u00eb Shqip\u00ebri, nga Vermoshi n\u00eb Konispol.<\/p>\n
Nuk kemi pse b\u00ebjm\u00eb sikur habitemi kur ato keqtrajtohen, shtypen, p\u00ebrdhunohen, madje dhe vriten. Ne kontribuojm\u00eb drejt k\u00ebsaj dhune. \u00c7far\u00eb i sh\u00ebrben shoq\u00ebris\u00eb son\u00eb e ve\u00e7an\u00ebrisht vajzave e grave habia jon\u00eb? \u00c7far\u00eb ndryshon p\u00ebr ato n\u00ebse e vetmja mb\u00ebshtetje ndaj tyre ting\u00ebllon e p\u00ebr\u00e7udnuar. \u201cDuhet t\u00eb sillemi ndryshe me vajzat tona sepse mund t\u00eb ishin motra, gruaja apo n\u00ebna jon\u00eb?\u201d Vajza apo gruaja para se me qen\u00eb mot\u00ebr, bashk\u00ebshorte apo n\u00ebn\u00eb, \u00ebsht\u00eb grua, nj\u00eb individ me liri dhe t\u00eb drejta t\u00eb barabarta me ne.<\/p>\n
Ne si shoq\u00ebri nuk jemi askund dhe ka ardhur koha t\u00eb vet\u00ebdij\u00ebsohemi e te shohim gjithsecili prej nesh vetveten n\u00eb pasqyr\u00eb. Ka ardhur koha q\u00eb ne djemt\u00eb e burrat, t\u00eb kuptojm\u00eb q\u00eb jemi pjes\u00eb e problemit dhe se k\u00ebrkohet prej nesh jo vet\u00ebm t\u00eb thyejm\u00eb heshtjen, por t\u00eb reagojm\u00eb ndaj k\u00ebsaj mynxyre.<\/p>\n
Do t\u00eb doja q\u00eb ky shkrim t\u00eb konsiderohej nj\u00eb let\u00ebr e hapur p\u00ebr \u00e7do djal\u00eb dhe burr\u00eb n\u00eb Shqip\u00ebri. Ka ardhur koha q\u00eb gjithsecili nga ne ta luftoj\u00eb patriarkalizmin e pabarazin\u00eb, ta sfidoj\u00eb k\u00ebt\u00eb rend shtyp\u00ebs q\u00eb na prek po aq sa vajzat dhe grat\u00eb, pa\u00e7ka se preferencialisht m\u00eb ndryshe. Dhuna jo vet\u00ebm q\u00eb s\u2019duhet ushtruar por as toleruar kur b\u00ebhemi d\u00ebshmitar\u00eb t\u00eb saj. Ne nuk do t\u00eb zhvillohemi si shoq\u00ebri n\u00ebse gjysma e popullsis\u00eb trajtohet n\u00eb m\u00ebnyr\u00eb \u00e7njer\u00ebzore; sepse \u00ebndrrat, talentet dhe aspiratat e vajzave dhe grave meritojn\u00eb t\u00eb nj\u00ebjtat shanse sikurse ato tonat p\u00ebr t\u2019u realizuar.<\/p>\n
Jam i vet\u00ebdijsh\u00ebm se n\u00eb nj\u00eb kontekst si ky yni, t\u00eb sfidosh patriarkalizmin n\u00ebnkupton t\u00eb sfidosh veten dhe kjo k\u00ebrkon kurajon ton\u00eb por nuk ka rrug\u00eb tjet\u00ebr dhe realiteti do t\u00eb ndryshohet vet\u00ebm nga bashk\u00ebpunimi yn\u00eb. Prandaj, si fillim le ta pyesim veten: Si jam duke e trajtuar n\u00ebn\u00ebn time? Si jam duke e trajtuar motr\u00ebn time? Si jam duke trajtuar partneren time? Si jam duke trajtuar vajz\u00ebn time? Si jam duke i trajtuar shoqet e mia? Si jam duke trajtuar vajzat dhe grat\u00eb e tjera ne pun\u00eb, n\u00eb rrug\u00eb apo kudo ku ndajm\u00eb hap\u00ebsir\u00ebn? Le t\u00eb provojm\u00eb p\u00ebr nj\u00eb \u00e7ast sado t\u00eb pak\u00ebt, ta vendosim veten n\u00eb vendin e tyre, p\u00ebr t\u00eb kuptuar m\u00eb mir\u00eb e p\u00ebr t\u00eb vepruar m\u00eb drejt\u00eb.<\/p>\n
Nje shoq\u00ebri nuk ndryshohet vet\u00ebm nga akte individuale. Aktet politike, sociale, ekonomike dhe kulturore jan\u00eb gjithashtu t\u00eb domosdoshme. Prandaj, do t\u00eb doja q\u00eb ky shkrim t\u00eb ishte edhe nj\u00eb apel p\u00ebr klas\u00ebn politike sikurse p\u00ebr shoq\u00ebrin\u00eb civile q\u00eb t\u00eb mb\u00ebshtesin vajzat dhe grat\u00eb realisht, jo sa p\u00ebr fasad\u00eb sikurse ndodh r\u00ebndom.<\/p>\n
\u201cPrej asaj dite e kam kuptuar se sa gabim isha dhe akoma e kam t\u00eb v\u00ebshtir\u00eb t\u2019ia fal vetes. Mbrapa m\u00eb lind\u00ebn edhe dy djem, por lidhjen m\u00eb t\u00eb fort\u00eb nga gjith\u00eb f\u00ebmij\u00ebt e mi e kam me vajz\u00ebn e tret\u00eb q\u00eb fillimisht pothuajse e braktisa.\u201d, m\u2019u drejtua taksisti para se t\u00eb ndaheshim.<\/p>\n
Zot\u00ebria q\u00eb m\u00eb shpuri deri n\u00eb destinacionin e k\u00ebrkuar, nuk \u00ebsht\u00eb nj\u00eb rast i ve\u00e7ant\u00eb. Si puna e tij mund t\u00eb ndihen shum\u00eb burra t\u00eb tjer\u00eb n\u00eb shoq\u00ebrin\u00eb ton\u00eb. Por ai e pat kuptuar gabimin e tij e tani, ka ardhur koha q\u00eb edhe ne t\u00eb tjer\u00ebt t\u00eb reflektojm\u00eb nj\u00eblloj. Trajtimi n\u00eb m\u00ebnyr\u00eb dinjitoze, t\u00eb barabart\u00eb e t\u00eb drejt\u00eb i vajzave dhe grave prej nesh, do e b\u00ebj\u00eb shoq\u00ebrin\u00eb ton\u00eb m\u00eb t\u00eb mir\u00eb dhe m\u00eb t\u00eb drejt\u00eb. Shoq\u00ebria na p\u00ebrket t\u00eb gjith\u00ebve, jo vet\u00ebm disave prej nesh.<\/p>\n
Blerim Gjonpalaj \u2013\u00a0<\/strong>Publikuar nga blogu \u2018Peizazhe t\u00eb Fjal\u00ebs\u2019<\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" P\u00ebrpara disa muajsh u ndodha n\u00eb nj\u00eb taksi n\u00eb Tiran\u00eb, duke biseduar me shoferin. M\u00eb pyeti n\u00ebse kisha f\u00ebmij\u00eb dhe iu p\u00ebrgjigja se kisha dy vajza t\u00eb vogla. \u201cI pa\u00e7 me jet\u00eb t\u00eb gjat\u00eb\u201d, m\u00eb tha dhe m\u00eb b\u00ebri p\u00ebrshtypje q\u00eb nuk shtoi \u201cMe nj\u00eb djal\u00eb pas!\u201d, sepse kjo \u00ebsht\u00eb fraza shoq\u00ebruese e urimit q\u00eb […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":1534,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"om_disable_all_campaigns":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[9,3,4],"tags":[],"yoast_head":"\n